


And Then, You Think

by whoisntafool



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 22:03:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4539063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoisntafool/pseuds/whoisntafool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You've had your doubts about her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Then, You Think

You had your doubts when this all started.

 

The first couple of times you two interact are nothing but snarky and bitter comments being thrown around. She’s everything that you didn’t want in a roommate, but you have no choice. She calls you by names of every possible baked good that exists on the planet. You’re obviously exaggerating, but it does feel that way.

And then you find out she’s a vampire. Possibly linked to the disappearances of the missing girls.

All you can think of, as a word to describe your roommate, is a ‘monster’. 

Okay, you lied. Three words. An ‘extremely appealing monster’. But you won’t let her leather pants and that low husky voice get to you. 

This day shall be known as “The birth of your doubts”.

 

//

 

And then you started falling for her right from that ‘stupid Zeta party’. When she pushed the door to your room open in that killer outfit. When she pulled your chair close and stroked your side ponytail, looking at you with tender, yet lustful eyes (which you mistook for her wanting to eat you, which she did, but in a much different way than you had imagined). Of course, you hadn’t realize that the reason why you could barely breathe in the presence of her looking at you in that way was because you were already falling for her. You just thought it was because you were scared that she was thinking of you as a midnight drink.

Your doubts have probably increased by a ten-fold.

But you think nothing of them and they’re pushed to the back of your head as you have more important things to deal with -- the missing girls, some evil mastermind behind the disappearances, and the fact that you have a very unhappy vampire tied up in your room watching sappy vampire movies. 

 

//

 

And then she tells you her story; her story through the three centuries, from human to vampire, she bared it all to you. In hindsight, a puppet show was slightly inappropriate.

Some of the doubts that you had had, tucked at the back of your mind, have vanished. She was no longer just an impartial, sassy centuries old monster that went on violent rampages and cared for nothing but herself. She cared so much for Ell that she was willing to risk it all, leaving everything that she knew behind, to start fresh. And on some level, she cared about the Dean, however manipulative the latter was to her, because she was Maman. 

She has the capacity to care. She cares about you too (although she’ll never admit it), but you don’t quite catch on until much later.

 

//

 

Lafontaine went missing and Perry has passed out on your bed. It’s been a long day, but somehow you’ve gotten yourself into a conversation with her about what it’s like to party in 1698. She sounded like a centuries old person, reminiscing what it was like back then, but the sparkle in her eyes and that soft playful smile on her lips, you realize she’s still a teenager, buried underneath all the horrible things she went through and have seen.

You don’t believe that waltzing is as much fun as she makes it out to be; she recognizes the disbelief in your voice and decides that she wants to prove you wrong. She brings you face-to-face, chest-to-chest, takes a few steps and whirls you around. You’ve never waltzed before, and yet somehow you followed her so well, it almost felt like an out-of-the-body experience. She pulls you back in and you automatically thread your fingers through hers, and she gently glides her thumb behind yours.

And you think to yourself, after she’s offered to take the floor while you take her bed for the night, “Worst. Crush. Ever”.

Because you never thought you’d fall so much deeper for a 300 year-old vampire. You’ve read and watched a fair share of vampire stories, but you’re still lost as hell. “Can a human be with a vampire? How does a relationship like that work? What if she doesn’t like me that way? What if she’s just using me as a human fruit punch Kool-Aid?” are just some of the doubts running through your mind as you lay in her bed that night. 

 

//

 

Lafontaine is back and Perry runs to embrace them, and you start to leave the bed to do the same but she gives you a look that says, “Give them some space, sweetheart”. And then sometime later she’s saying something that she didn’t intend to sound offensive but ended up sounding so, you give her a nudge and she gives Lafontaine an acknowledgement of good work. As insincere as it sounded, she still said it, and she said it for you. 

Maybe, just maybe, things could work out between the two of you. Needless to say, some of the doubts are still residing in your mind, but you think, “This isn’t so bad”.

 

//

 

She retrieves a sword for you. She makes a deal with the Dean, and as much as it goes against your morals and it leading to you telling her to go away, she did it for you. She defeats her Maman and some evil God, for you. And you, the squad, and the missing girls all make it back to your room with a few non-threatening injuries. Minus her. 

You cry and cry for days, and beat yourself up over the fact that the last words you ever said to her was “Go away Carmilla, we’re done”. You had your back to her when you said those words, and it’s not until you replay your video that you see how hurt she looked. Because you didn’t give her a chance to say anything.

And you know it now, all the times you catch her looking at you like food, or the stars, and all the times she’s put up a front and acting nonchalant, is because she really likes you and cares about you. 

Another tear escapes your eye as you shake your head and realize that it’s too late.

 

//

 

It’s been a few days and you’ve cried your reservoir of tears dry. Perry’s in your room looking a little panicked and then you see Danny carrying a limp body that you recognize as her, and everything from that point is blurry to you. And suddenly she’s standing in front of you, gently holding your face, kissing you. And you’re still spouting all that nonsense about how you know she isn’t doing it just for you and she has this smile on her face. An actual, genuine smile (apparently only reserved for your eyes, and your eyes only, and you don’t mind one bit). And your lips meet with hers again, and again, and again.

Whatever doubts you had in your mind, are long, long gone. And you think to yourself, “This is not bad, not bad at all”.

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo this is my first piece of writing (that I've had the guts to post). I hope you guys enjoyed it and I'm sure there are a ton of mistakes so please don't hesitate to point them out! I promise I won't bite ;)) Let me know what you think! I don't have a tumblr as of now, but if you'd like to reach me or make a new friend, I have Twitter, so just leave me a comment and we'll figure out things from there :) Thank you! 
> 
> P.S: I may continue this for up to whichever episode we're at in season 2. Let me know if you'd want to read that!


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